Compunction
by UnsightlyDreams
Summary: Sometimes, even he falters. Series of one-shots.
1. Chapter 1

Konoha was the same.

Itachi was only slight surprised to feel the constricting of his chest when he stepped back into the lands, feeling more than just a little lost. He'd grown up, yes – seen things people more than twice his age hadn't, joined a terrorist organization, probably killed more people than the number of days he'd lived… And yet, the place reduced him to the same stately boy that had stood in the Hokage's Office, terrified but resolute, as he swore to wipe every trace of the Uchiha from the village.

He didn't know _what_ he had expected, but the wave that coursed through him at the sight of the oh-so-familiar buildings was _bittersweet_. He didn't resent his life, or the situation fate had forced him into. Itachi was merely happy to serve, in whatever little way possible. But he still couldn't quell the love, the pain, the slight feeling of _what if – _what if Madara's legacy wasn't as insane as the man himself? Where would he be then?

The air felt cool, clear, crisp. The sound of people bustling around was the same. It was still shrouded in the same scent of flowers, and the buildings stood tall and proud against the backdrop of a rapidly darkening sky. Faints wisps of a long-forgotten memory came rushing back at him. His father, dropping him to the Academy. His mother, forcing food down his throat. And Sasuke – oh god – _Sasuke_…

He wondered, briefly, if Kisame suspected. There was no reason for him to, but he still wondered what the man would say about the love coursing through his chest. Itachi had a brilliant poker-face – he'd been told often enough. But he still wondered, day after day, how he'd managed to hide what he felt so deeply. It should've been inched into every line of his face, every movement of his body. It should betray him, just as easily as Shisui's death had.

And now, here they were, fleeing the village he'd given so much for.

Kisame was unconcerned. He could see it in the other man's movements. Konoha shinobi posed no threat to them – not yet, at least. As they hurried past the streets, hiding besides a tall, empty building Itachi vaguely remembered playing in when he was younger, the older man barked out a harsh laugh. "Still the same, bumbling fools, I see."

Itachi didn't reply. There was no need to. Years of being together ensured that Kisame didn't _expect_ an answer anymore, and was more than comfortable in the other man's silence.

There was a sudden sound of hurried footsteps, and both men froze.

A girl tumbled past, pink hair waving lightly in the soft breeze. Her nose was buried in a large tome, brow furrowed in concentration. She hadn't noticed them, hidden behind the wall as they were, and they were both masking their chakra. Regardless, red seeped into his eyes as he activated his Sharingan.

Itachi had barely thought of stepping out and putting her in a Genjutsu when –

"Uchiha Itachi, the man responsible for the Massacre."

His eyes widened for a second, and from the corner of his eyes, he saw Kisame's hands inch towards Samehada.

Suddenly, the girl scoffed. "You're cute. Wonder why you went batshit insane though." The book slid slightly from her grasp and the pages shifted to give a clear view of a photo of him when he was younger. She tapped it almost absent-mindedly. "Why are the cute ones always crazy?" She asked, almost as if she was expecting him to turn up and give a listed detail of his crimes.

Kisame took a step forward, and almost without thinking, Itachi glanced at him, the order clear in his eyes: _Stop_.

The girl, meanwhile, had sped past, almost turning around the bend. Still, she continued murmuring to herself. "And you, Uchiha-san." She added almost accusingly. "How do you possibly expect to help me pass the exams?" She sighed tiredly. "No reply. Well, that's expected I suppose. This is what I get for talking to photos."

And then she was gone.

Kisame grunted, stepping out of the shadows, possibly quite annoyed that Itachi had stopped him from maiming yet another person. "Let's go, then. No point lingering."

Itachi nodded, preparing himself for the Shunshin when Kisame's eyes flickered to meet his gaze once more. "Itachi…" the older man began almost hesitantly.

Faced with Itachi's glowing eyes, he gulped audibly. "Never mind."

It was later, much later, when he stood outside Konoha with Kisame, silently saying goodbye to a place that had made him the man he was today, that he realized that a faint echo of a smile still lingered on his face.

He didn't know it then, but she'd be there during his reincarnation, furiously trying to bring another unresponsive body to life, all the while shedding tears he wished he could somehow stop. She'd be older, more worn, more tired and certainly more captivating somehow. She'd look up for a brief second and look through him easily, as if she'd never once spent time in an abandoned alleyway talking to his picture and calling him '_cute_'.

It would be in her wet eyes that he'd finally find an answer to his '_what if'_, and by then, it was almost too late for regrets.

**{X}**

**{X}**

**{X}**

**A/N**: A canon-compatible take to my story, Happiness is Relative. The OC can be anyone you want, really, but she's originally based on my character in the story. Give it a chance if you happen to like this. I promise, it's a lot happier.

I'm sorry for any errors. This is based on when Itachi returns to Konoha and takes on Kakashi and the lot. I don't remember much, and they certainly wouldn't have lingered like this, but well. Fanfiction liberties, y'all.

Also, the whole scenario is a nod to Olicity from Arrow.

Happy reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **

**Soulmate AU. Canon-compliant. Certain inaccuracies from the manga, and requires a certain stretch of belief, but well. *shrugs***

**BTW ANGST AHEAD.**

**{X}**

It begins something like this:

It's a fight – nothing new, she's been in countless fights before. She's seen men (and women) fall before her, some, she's even cut down herself. Her hands drip with blood – her life is stained red, much like any other ninja's.

Unlike others though, she'd tried to take the peaceful way out. It was unheard of, so she'd failed.

But this fight is different – it's probably the most dangerous one she's ever been in. So she twirls, and she cuts, and she swipes, and because she thinks she's smart, she _feints_ –

And skin meets skin.

And her world

_Tilts_.

**{X}**

Actually, she'll amend later – much _later_ – that's not precisely how it begins. It begins in a training ground, in the wee hours of the morning, with a young boy and an even younger girl.

Even back then, they were worlds apart.

"_Outrageous_!" She huffs after her umpteenth attempt, glaring at both the kunai in her hand and at the tree in the background (she's always been good at multitasking). "This is ridiculous!" She declares to no one in particular, letting the kunai seep out of her fingers. "I _hate_ –,"

"Your technique is wrong."

She spins around swiftly, only to meet the cool black eyes of an Uchiha. Much like the rest of his Clan, he's shrouded in dark clothing, an even darker sword strapped to his neck. But he's also different, she corrects herself, opening her mouth to voice thoughts she'll learn later to control.

"You… can speak?" She asks dubiously, shifting on her feet.

In response, the boy blinks.

"I mean, Uchiha Kanagi is in my class and all I've ever seen him do is grunt."

The boy blinks again. Then, before she realizes it, he's holding out her kunai to her, waiting patiently for her to take it.

She does, with a confused frown.

Their fingers don't brush.

"Your posture is wrong," The boy says shortly, stepping forward to place cool hands on her shoulders. They rustle the loose cloth she's wearing. "Tilt yourself as you throw – and use less force."

His hands fall away as she raises the kunai, and she shifts herself until an approving "Hn" rumbles behind her.

Then she pulls her hand back.

The kunai doesn't quite hit the target, but it _does_ hit the tree. More than what she's accomplished in the past two hours.

When she turns around to thank him, he's gone.

**{X}**

"Who's that?" She'll ask two years later, nodding towards the boy (man?) crossing the street. She'd tried finding him again all those years past, but somehow, he'd always slipped past her fingers. After a time, all those Uchiha faces had started blurring together and the guards had started giving her weird looks as she found childish excuses to loiter near the gate.

"Who?" Hana turns around to look at him, before giving a rather vicious snort. "I wouldn't waste my time with him. That's Uchiha Itachi – Clan Heir, ANBU Captain, la la la." Then her eyes turn discerning. "Have you met him before?"

Shiyako gulps, crossing her fingers below the table. Hana's only recently had her heart broken by Shisui – like other girls before her, he'd turned down her chocolates with a small smile and sad eyes. It probably wouldn't dwell nicely on her to admit that once, the Clan Heir himself had tutored her on her kunai throwing skills in Training Ground 6.

Besides, Hana might not believe her. Sometimes, even Shiyako thought it'd been a dream.

Though she hadn't known he was so _important_ before.

"Nope," She finds herself saying. Then she swiftly changes the topic. "Say, how's training going for you? I think my sensei's crazy."

**{X}**

One month later, the massacre occurs and the name Uchiha Itachi becomes synonymous with _psychopath_ and _murderer_ and _oath-breaker._

**{X}**

_"Do you remember?" She asks slowly, wondering if she should elaborate._

_But Itachi only closes his eyes tightly and nods. He looks, in the split second, so tired and so old. "Yes."_

**{X}**

"Strings of fate," Haneda-san had intoned, looking deeply amused as she quirked her lips at her young class. "That might be a possible explanation."

An enthusiastic Akimichi raised her hand. "So no one's ever died without meeting his or her soulmate before?"

"Not to any recorded knowledge, no," Their teacher said smoothly, crossing the table to come stand before them. "Of course, there are tragic cases where people meet their halves just before death, but there's never been a case wherein –,"

There's a sudden tug on her hair, and that annoying boy who trips Shiyako and likes to make fun of her hair whispers directly into her ear: "Just because there's never been a recorded case before doesn't mean it never happens. Wanna bet you'd be the first?"

And Shiyako turns around to punch him. Her fist connects and her smile turns satisfied before Haneda-san pulls her back and drags them both to her room. Both their parents are called. Mebuki, heavily pregnant with her second child, only sighs and drags Shiyako back home. That night, her father, amused, tells her how punching him was Mebuki's way of confirming if they were meant to be.

Later, when Shiyako tells Hana this, the other girl merely grins. "Maybe he was flirting with you."

She frowns, tugging at the blade of grass at her feet. "But… he isn't my soulmate."

"So? That doesn't mean you can't date other people."

Hana's from a big Clan, so she's seen things. She's wiser and stronger, and often, her chakra control is better than Shiyako's. But, at night, when Shiyako's getting ready for bed, she clutches her pillow tightly to her chest and decides she'll wait. After all, she can afford to. She's barely 6 and her mother's told her boys carry diseases at least until they turn 18.

**{X}**

Hana finds him when she's 16. He's older than the two of them by a year, and is ridiculously handsome, with pale hair and bright blue eyes. A far cry from Uchiha Shisui, who Hana had once pledged her heart to, declaring that it didn't matter who fate had chosen for her – she'd decided her heart belonged to Shisui and so it did.

Shiyako watches from the side-lines as Hana introduces her to all of his friends, hoping against hope that maybe – maybe one of them is the One.

But her knuckles brush against skin, sometimes deliberate, sometimes sly, and nothing happens.

The boy from class, so long ago, sneers at her as his passes. Somehow, the meaning behind his eyes is clear. So when she's 17, she awkwardly brushes her lips against another boy's, forgetting the 6 year old girl huddled beneath the blankets.

Then later, when she's home, and she's crying, Mebuki holds her tightly, promising that he's coming, and that he'll be spectacular, and oh, Shiyako, _please please_ stop following society's expectations.

**{X}**

"It's Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yells one day after she comes home, "It's him!"

And Shiyako wants to tell her that sometimes, just finding them isn't enough. There's something called a right time, and a right place, but this is the _new_ Shiyako – the sarcastic, cynical one who's fed upon Mebuki's words – the Shiyako who isn't girly and doesn't want to talk boys with Sakura anymore, so she doubts her sister will even listen.

Some years past, the sisters will reflect upon how ironic it is, and Shiyako will want to laugh, but the pain and the heartbreak tearing up her insides will only bring out the tears.

**{X}**

_"Was it intentional, the fact that you didn't touch me back then?" Shiyako asks, "Did you know?" Did you purposely ruin this for me, she'll want to say, but she's still scared of him, soulmate or not. _

_Could I have stopped you?_

_Psychopath, murderer, oath-breaker._

_"No," He says again, shoulders slumped upon themselves. "The Clan had a rule – I wasn't supposed to know until I was at least 18, so I purposely…"_

_He doesn't continue, but he doesn't need to. Shiyako's already horrified at the implications._

_"Even now," He says out of the blue, raising his hands. For one second, she actually thinks he was going to… _do_ something, but he only makes an awkward movement with his hands._

_The horror clogs up her throat when she realizes he's removing the gloves framing his fingers._

**{X}**

Sasuke defects and Sakura is inconsolable.

"Why wasn't my love enough?" She asks, over and over and over, clutching the front of Shiyako's dress with weak fingers, her broken heart laid bare for the world to see. "Why wasn't it enough? I told him – I told him I'd come with him –,"

Being 18 has lent maturity to Shiyako as she kneels down and captures Sakura in a tight hug.

"Have you ever considered, imouto… That he left you behind because of _his_ love?"

**{X}**

All around her, Shiyako realizes one setting afternoon, people are falling in love. And yet, she stands alone, watching the seasons pass by.

It'll take another month, and the fight for her life to realize the reason why.

**{X}**

Her world tilts, and she doesn't see her attacker's eyes widen.

Then suddenly, she's been hauled upright, and cool, smooth fingers force her chins upwards, and the spinning tomoe of the Sharingan hit her eyes and –

_Sasuke_? Is her first thought.

Then as she's blanking out, she remembers who else has the Sharingan. Her brain freezes and her world tilts once more.

**{X}**

This world is inverted, the colours leeching off like the rare negatives she's seen sometimes. Even without the prompting, she knows where she is. She's heard of this before – from Kakashi. It'd sent the older, wiser, stronger man straight to the Hospital.

"Welcome to the world of – ," Itachi says smoothly, as if rehearsed.

Shiyako takes the moment to realize she isn't restrained or bound. It's a relief, albeit a shallow one.

**{X}**

_"Let me come with you," She begs, much like her sister once had, though she won't connect the parallels until later. At least her sister had an excuse – her youth. Her fingers desperately hold on to his cloak, burrowing into its velvety softness. "Please –,"_

_"You can come," Itachi says, shocking and thrilling her very core. Then he tilts her chin upwards, the gloves now discarded to the floor. The sensation of skin on skin no longer spins her world, but sends something rushing through her body nevertheless. "If you kill your sister for me."_

_Shiyako draws back, as if burned. _

_Once again, the parallels don't manifest until much later._

**{X}**

Ironically enough, Kakashi is the one who finds her, alone on the ground and shaking. He kneels besides her, holding her by the shoulders. "What happened?"

"I – Itachi," She croaks out, eyes unseeing, and he draws back, flinching.

Then his brow lowers. "I don't understand, how are you not –,"

"He can't hurt me."

It doesn't take a genius to connect the dots, and this time, his hands fall off her entirely. She ignores the horrified look on his face.

**{X}**

Tsunade wordlessly gestures for her to sit down, and some part of Shiyako wants to laugh at the hospitality - their Hokage isn't quite known for being _nice_. The rest of her is still detachedly observing the scene – as if not connected with it at all.

"Shiyako…" She begins worriedly, an almost motherly look on her face. Behind her, Shizune coughs slightly, as if reminded her of what was to be done, despite the clear pity in her eyes.

Tsunade obliges. "What happened?" She says brusquely, falling back into the role of Leader and shedding the mantle of Caregiver. When Shiyako doesn't respond, she barks harshly: "Haruno! Give me a report at once!"

It's the years of conditioning that automatically unglue Shiyako's tongue from the roof of her mouth. She means to give a report, she knows she does, but something else entirely comes pouring out.

"He asked me to kill Sakura for him. That's – That's his price. He'll let me be with him if I kill S-S-Sakura." And somehow, saying her sister's name brings her back. She raises terrified eyes. "S-S-Shishou, Sakura_… H -How could he?!"_

She doesn't realize she's crying until Shizune buries her beneath her hug. Next to her, Tsunade's still speaking to Kakashi.

"Nobody else gets to know of this, you understand? This is currently an S-class secret. Don't give me that look, Hatake! You know I'm right!"

**{X}**

Hana grows tired of asking her what's wrong. It's a different excuse each time – I burned the milk. I stepped on a cat. Even 'I got lost on the road of life' passes through her lips, and she's equal parts amused and horrified.

Predictably, Hana doesn't believe her. Their coffee runs slowly trickle to a stop and Shiyako pretends to not notice as she throws herself headfirst in Hospital work.

**{X}**

Her parents are marginally easier to convince. She barely sees them anyway, having moved out a year prior. When they make plans, the excuses fall easily from her mouth.

**{X}**

Sakura, by contrast, isn't easy to convince – not by a longshot. With the dogged persuasion of Tsunade's Top Student, she follows Shiyako around, between shifts, after shifts, even in the mornings. She's the first to notice Shiyako's rapidly diminishing weight, the first to call her out on it, the first to drag her genin teammates over and force Shiyako to socialize with people.

The dam breaks down one day when she finds Shiyako crying herself to sleep.

"You have to tell me what's wrong! This isn't normal behaviour, Nee-chan!" The sheets are dragged off of her and thrown aside. "Tell me what's wrong!" Then, softer: "Tell me how I can help."

It's the tears in her eyes that make Shiyako finally deign to open her mouth.

Later, the two sisters lie down side by side, not saying a word. Their tears have finally died.

"You're stronger than this," Sakura will finally say, rolling over to look Shiyako in the eyes. "You _know_ you're stronger than this."

Shiyako considers snapping at her, but catches herself. Naruto had told her, in hushed tones, how Sasuke had tried killing her sister. It's a lifetime of dreams shattered, but who knows this better than Sakura?

In the dark, Shiyako finds Sakura's fingers and clutches them tightly, nodding.

**{X}**

_"S-She's my sister," Shiyako says, taking jerky steps backwards. "My sister."_

_Itachi merely smiles coldly in response, matching each step she takes with his own firm-footed ones. "And Sasuke's my brother," He mocks, his steps never abating, "And Fugaku was my father, and Mikoto was my mother –,"_

_"S – Stop –,"_

_But Itachi merely presses on, until they're both chest-to-chest, and his fingers cord around hers, bringing her hand up to press a light kiss on her clenched fists. Her eyes flutter involuntarily and his dark ones never leave her face. "And I'm your Soulmate. It should be an easy decision."_

_"You're crazy," Shiyako breathes out, snatching her hand back in a sudden fit. _

_And Itachi throws his head back and laughs. _

**{X}**

It's easier to have Sakura know, Shiyako rationalizes as she starts bringing her life back in order, starting from Hana and her parents. Some nights, it's still hard, and there's this cord in her chest that squirms and squirms and squirms, but she forces it down through sheer will.

Sometimes, it feels as if someone's watching her in the dark, and those nights, the cord refuses to _shut up_. But Shiyako knows it's only her delusion and hope that's forcing her hand.

She knows, because Uchiha Itachi doesn't have a heart. He proved it long ago.

**{X}**

The ache in her chest lightens and lightens, until one day, it's gone.

So Shiyako starts taking missions again, and one morning, after twisting and turning in her bed, shows up in the Hokage's Office pre-emptively.

"I'm going to kill him," She declares, never mind the fact that it can't be done. It's physically impossible for her to do it, but she says the words anyway. "He m – might go after Sakura. He's crazy. What if he goes after her because of me?"

Tsunade refuses to meet her eyes, which is odd, because –

Oh.

_Oh_.

She staggers into the chair.

**{X}**

Sasuke attacks Konoha, and the Leaf finally acknowledges there's a War coming.

So she signs up, obviously.

**{X}**

It's smack in-between the death, and the tears, and the terror that something moves lightly in Shiyako's chest once again. She ignores it – pushes against it, even, but the feeling strengthens and strengthens until she realizes she's packing her bags and slipping away. Nobody bothers stopping her, probably because Tsunade's already realized where she's going.

If the undead were coming back to life, then there was a chance…

She refuses to finish the thought, letting the cord drag her forward until she's sitting alone in a cave and forces herself to find a dark corner, pushing against her dismal chakra reserves. Once she's there, her eyes flutter shut in sheer exhaustion.

And when she comes to, there are soft hands on either side of her face.

Ironically enough, her first reaction isn't to scream. It's to pull him closer.

Their breaths mingle, the air between them hazy and blurred as she realizes she's crying. _Again_.

"Shiyako…" Itachi breathes against her skin, resting his forehead against hers. His touch is cold – inhumanly so. His fingers knot themselves against hers, and she forgets everything – everything he's done before. "In another world, I promise, we would have a happy ending."

She scoffs slightly in return, trying to remember the reasons why she hates him even though they continue to slip through her fingers.

And it _hurts_ – it hurts so much, it hurts to breathe and to stay upright and every resolution from before comes crashing down as she's in front of him, utterly vulnerable and laid bare.

It isn't fair, she'll think later, that the only time she saw him without masks was long ago, when she was 6.

His grip against her tightens and she senses a faint chakra right outside the cavern. Itachi's eyes flutter shut. "I'm sorry." He presses a kiss to her forehead and Shiyako's heart thuds loudly.

The world spins again, even as something heavy falls into her hands.

**{X}**

_He kisses her suddenly, one hand snaking around her wrist while the other is buried in her hair, pulling her closer. The kiss is inexperienced, merely a little above than mashing of lips, but exhilaration spreads through her body regardless. It's everything as cheesy as Hana had described – fireworks explode and the sun aligns and everything is perfect._

_All until they break apart, and he rests his forehead against hers. "Kill your sister, and you can come with me."_

_So Shiyako pushes against his chest, and screams and screams and screams._

**{X}**

Later, Sasuke tells her everything.

The tears have dried up once more, but Shiyako refuses to let go of _his_ necklace. Apparently, Sasuke had found her with it. It'd been Itachi's last request that he keep her safe.

**{X}**

The Village declares Itachi a hero. It doesn't make sleeping easier, but it's still… something.

**{X}**

**A/N: Yep, this is the end. Pls, pls review. It'll (hopefully) help me get back to writing this.**

**(Also, shameless self-promotion: Check out my other stories! So far, I'm working on Teen Wolf, Death Note, and Maze Runner, aside from Naruto).**

**Cheers and love. **


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